i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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