If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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