Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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