can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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