I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
COCAINE IS GR8
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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