Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Randomize
