I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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