He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
worst night to have a conscience
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
