Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
