just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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