The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize