So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
