Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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