so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
