Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
