whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
