I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
