im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
