At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
