So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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