I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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