somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
