Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
