I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
operation harelip BJ is a go
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I AM VODKA MAN
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize