Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Soap is not a condiment
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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