I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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