his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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