her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
