Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
