i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
where am i from again
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
