It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
