Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
