On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
