how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
