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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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