yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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