We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
