Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize