he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize