Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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