she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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