I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
