spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
