ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
