if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
