Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
