whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
