how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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