Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize