you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
