whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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