I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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