I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
