I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
