You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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